I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you would pick up someone in the library
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
