i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
