He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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