you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
