yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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