wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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