There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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