party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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