mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
