I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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