Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
