i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
