My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
