I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
