i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
