So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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