i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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