I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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