my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize