The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
