That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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