a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just found a bag of teeth...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
