no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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