This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
