I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
