i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
