3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
