i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
