i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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