I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
