question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
