final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
