winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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