The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
