yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
