you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
