She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
