brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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