chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
