My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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