all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
