You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
