Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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