Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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