seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This is my gift to your gina
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
