so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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