dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize