Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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