Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
