I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
