THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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