I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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