he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
