If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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