CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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