didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
