i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
