return my video game
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
