The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What drink are we having for lunch?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
