hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
