There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am available for nakedness
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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