i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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