Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
