My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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