Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
