I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
