Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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