I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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