Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dual....:-)
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
