Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
